choices

I have choices. As I am set free from the ties of the past, I walk toward the future. I have decided I will move, leave thebowdenbothy where I have made my home these past six years, and seek somewhere new. I will take all that I have learned with me, but it is time. The decision I make is mine alone to make, and that is a new experience. There is a freedom and flexibility to this move that I have not experienced before. My only criteria is reasonable proximity to my place of work. Beyond that, I have choices. Continue reading “choices”

in between

I am in between. It takes many months to sort through the details of my mother’s leaving. There are days when creativity eludes me but I know it will return, when the tasks before me are complete. I allow myself to surrender to what must be done and there is a relief, a comfort in that. In letting go there is an easing, a pressure that lifts. I allow myself to put one foot in front of the other and do what needs to be done.

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the swire

I take to the hills. In the weeks and months that follow my mother’s passing, I take comfort in walking the winding paths and streams and valleys that were so beloved and reminiscent of her place in the world. In the early morning, I explore this land that she called home and find comfort in the connection I find.

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fire

I seek the fire. As the autumn sets in, as the winter approaches, I seek the warmth of the flames. As the pressures of my day to day life intensify around me, I look for the strength that the comes from facing a fear, from overcoming an obstacle. I seek the fire. Continue reading “fire”

removal

I remove myself. I set myself apart and I seek sanctuary. For three precious days, I remove myself to the peace and flow of a community whose days follow a simpler and more peaceful pattern than is my normal pace. I give myself the gift of time and I walk the line of the river. I follow the light. Continue reading “removal”

august break

I take an August Break. Inspired by the inspirational Susannah Conway and in the company of a group of brave and interesting women from far flung places from across the world, I commit to publishing one photograph each day for the 31 days that make up this late summer month of August.  Continue reading “august break”

the pause

I pause. On a morning when snow falls and roads are only passable with care, I take time out. I remove myself from the pressures of daily routines for a few precious hours and I reflect. Over these past few weeks I have have been running hard. Away from myself and a truth I did not want to face. Towards myself and the healing that always comes when a truth is finally faced. I look out onto my snow-covered garden and I pause.
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a winter’s tale

I lose myself. Amidst the rush of christmas, the passing of new year, the long dark nights and the short wet days, my soul retreats. It moves to a distant and far off place and I find I must search hard and long to retrieve the connection. I walk. The woods around my home that are my normal path and pattern are dark and mud filled. Instead, I take to the streets of a nearby town, mapping a route lined with the street lights that I do not have in the woods around my home. I walk. I seek the self I lose. I seek the path to follow that will bring me back to myself. Continue reading “a winter’s tale”

due to desmond

I wait. I wait for a storm that is due to storm through this area of southern Scotland where I live over these next few days. It is December and we know to be prepared for winter weather as we head towards the shortest day, but this storm is to bring high winds and heavy rain which we are warned will bring down trees and flood our rivers. Roads will become impassable and power may go down. Weekend plans for Christmas shopping are put on hold. Emergency services are on standby. I spend time making sure my mother has everything she needs and retreat to my own well stocked and warm home and I wait. Continue reading “due to desmond”

the thin place

I walk this week in silence. I retreat northwards to the thin place, where mountains rise high and mists lie low. I walk to find the next stage of my journey. I remove myself from daily routines and daily connections, seeking a stronger sense of myself by being still, by being quiet in this place where the landscape is large and it is safe to be small. Continue reading “the thin place”

a catwalk walk

I walk a catwalk. I change my hiking boots for heels, my waterproof for smart casual, cosy winter, classy coat, wow them at work, dressy dress and party time. I have four pairs of shoes, chosen with care to match these six outfits. They are not mine; I borrow them for this glamorous and glitzy occasion. I do this for charity, to raise money; along with six other brave women we walk this catwalk in our borrowed clothes and the high, high heels we would never normally wear to raise money for breast cancer. Continue reading “a catwalk walk”